well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
