she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
