non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
