I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
do herpes really smell.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
