Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
