is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
