I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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