Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My life is pants optional.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
