sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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