Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
