it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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