Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
