So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
that is very illegal...i love you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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