I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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