So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
