Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
