i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
