I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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