Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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