You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
