I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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