Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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