i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
