he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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