Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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