In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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