Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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