just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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