Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
