Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she pinky promised me she was 18
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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