Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
