So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
