Pappa wants mamma naked
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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