Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
