Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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