he shaved USA in his pubs
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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