there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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