you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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