umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
