alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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