is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
