Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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