he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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