i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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