so explain again why im purple
no
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So vagazzling was a success
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
