i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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