I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
