best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
