How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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