my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
