im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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